Wednesday, August 12, 2015

We were just innocent little kids.

  "I have a right to be angry. I was a kid, I was a person, I was a woman, I was stripped of my childhood and my right to equal value. I was harmed, I was not protected from harm, and people targeted their frustrations and anger at me. I was not permitted to have feelings. My parents invalidated me as well and they defended abusers. I think that being angry is understandable. I think that in cases like this, anger IS justified. Darlene Ouimet

It is not only dysfunctional, it is ridiculous to maintain that what happened in our childhood did not affect our adult life. Our hearts were broken, our spirit's wounded, our minds programmed dysfunctionally. The choices we have made as adults were made in reaction to our childhood wounds / programming - our lives have been dictated by our wounded inner children.
It is impossible to Truly love the adult that we are without owning the child that we were. In order to do that we need to detach from our inner process (and stop the disease from abusing us) so that we can have some objectivity and discernment that will allow us to have compassion for our own childhood wounds. Then we need to grieve those wounds and own our right to be angry about what happened to us in childhood - so that we can Truly know in our gut that it wasn't our fault - we were just innocent little kids. - Robert Burney Picture by Elizabeth White my DIL

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Thursday, August 6, 2015

get over it

“get over it” I find instructions and directives like that demeaning, as though these people are inferring that I am incompetent, and that I have made the wrong choice where my own feelings are concerned. Being told to “just get over it” is devaluing.
Until I learned that I do have rights, that I am as equally valuable as everyone else and that I AM ALLOWED to and NEED TO feel the pain of the past and get angry about it SO THAT I COULD “get over it” (which is how I am getting over it) but until I embraced those truths, I was stuck in the sick dysfunctional system.
The fact is, none of us can control what other people think or say. The only thing that we can control is whether we want to accept it or not. It’s difficult, yes, to choose to take my time in recovery…but I’ve not regretted it. In fact, at times I feel that I’m actually doing better than people who claim they are “normal”.