Tuesday, December 10, 2013

Brandi Glanville wearing my earrings!

Last night, I was watching Real House Wives of Beverly Hills. I noticed the earrings that Brandi Glanville was wearing and they where the ones I made for her back in March! So, I had to take pic of the TV screen, pretty neat!

Thursday, November 7, 2013

The inspiration for my Magical Fairy Wings In A Nutshell!

The inspiration for my Magical Fairy Wings In A Nutshell first came to me when I was a young girl. When Christmas time would come around, we would always have walnuts, as well as other nuts, around the house. The first time I cracked a walnut perfectly down the middle, I was fascinated and thought to myself that I could actually hide little objects in there and no one would know. To them, it would appear to be just a walnut. Being 8 years old at the time, I thought this was a great idea. So I began hiding little trinkets inside the empty shell, and glue them shut. I would then place them in my jewelry box. Naturally, I figured I could also hide pieces of jewelry inside these shells as well. Later on, I would enjoy cracking open the shells and seeing what I had previously hide in each shell.
40 years later, I came across a site with beautiful fairies, which were produced by Emma Marlow. Fairies were another thing that I have loved since childhood, and the mental cogs began moving. The card that comes with the Magical Fairy Wings In A Nutshell was inspired by some old Norse folk lore about Ash Yggdrasi. There are many different fork lore in regards to this. So I decided to create a Jewelry piece around this theme. I asked Emma Marlow if she could make a business card size, with the beautiful fairy. This was around a year ago, and then I let the idea sit for awhile. I did not want to produce this until I found the perfect set of fairy wings. As often happens, I then became busy and forgot about the idea. Then recently, I happened across a site with the perfect fairy wings, and my previous design popped back into mind.
So that is how the Magical Fairy Wings In A Nutshell came about. 

Monday, October 28, 2013

SPECIAL DEAL! Personalized Magical Fairy Wings In A Nutshell

 SPECIAL DEAL! $39.95 (Regular Price $52.95) Offer good until Dec. 10 2013

These magical royalty fairies are from ash yggdrasi know as
the world tree. When the fairy is born from the walnut
and ready to fly she leaves something valuable behind. Breaking the walnut and finding the tiny treasure is a good omen.
Made of sterling silver and chanel swarovski rhinestones.

Nothing Says, "You're Special" Like Personalized Gifts! It shows you went out of your way to find a unique gift and to personalize it to make it theirs alone! It makes you feel good to give, and it's even more special to receive! http://silverschells.com

Thursday, October 10, 2013

More Than Jewelry - Supporting Domestic Violence

A short while ago, a young couple moved into the apartment below my husband and me. I had not taken much notice of them until a couple nights ago, when I overheard them fighting. The fighting continued to progress, and I began to here something being banged around, and the screaming of the young girl, pleading for her boyfriend to stop. Instantly, I called the police, but it seemed as if it was taking forever for them to get there. Something inside me though made me go down there. I was scared, but I know that when I get this gut instinct, I have to forget how I feel and go for it.

As I was going down to the young couples apartment, the police arrived, and I was able to direct them to which apartment it was. The police knocked on the door, and brought the girl outside, where the officer began talking to the girl. I knew she was not going to press charges against her boyfriend, and this meant that police really could not do anything. So instead, I interrupted the officer, and asked if I could say something. He said sure. Speaking to the girl, I told her that if she ever needed someone to talk to, that I just lived upstairs. I had heard everything, and knew what she was going through, as I had been there as well. After saying my piece, I went back to my apartment, knowing that was all I needed to say.

Around 4 this morning, I woke up to crying and screaming coming from the apartment below. Without thinking, I threw on some clothes and ran downstairs. I saw that the window was cracked open, and started yelling, “get your hands off of her right now.” The door suddenly opened; it was the young girl. I told her to go to my apartment, that the door was open, and we both ran up the stairs. After we both got inside, I locked the door. It all happened so quickly. I was still in the process of collecting my thoughts, as I had just woken up.

A few minutes later, there was a knock on the door. We both knew it was the boyfriend, and she said that she had better go. I asked her to please stay and at least hear what I had to say first. To my surprise, she agreed. Her boyfriend continued knocking on the door, so I answered. He demanded to talk to his girlfriend, but I told him that was not going to happen until I got a chance to chat with her first, and that he could now get out of here.

I talked with her for a couple of hours. She truly is a sweet young girl, who had moved up here with her boyfriend in search of an oilfield job. Now, she just wished she could go back home, but she did not have the means to do so. Unbeknownst to her, I was a person that could make that happen though. I told her about what I did for a living, and that I raise money for victims of domestic violence through the sale of my empowerment bracelets. If she wanted help getting back home, I told her I was more than willing to help her; that I would be here whenever she needed me, and that ultimately, the decision was up to her.

However, I felt in my heart that she would go back to him, at least for now. I understand that though, as I had been in the same situation in the past. One can not be forced to leave someone; it must be there own decision. At least she knows now that there is a way out.
Now, when I am writing this, it is 6:30 in the morning. Reflecting on this mornings events, I see that everything does happen for a reason. I never thought that when I started making these empowerment bracelets, that I would personally be helping these women. Instead, I had planned on giving the money to the domestic violence shelter, and they would be able to take care of everything. But because of the support I have gotten from everyone who has purchased one of these bracelets (and I truly thank you all), I have been blessed with the opportunity to share my story these young women, as well as help them escape from their abusers. Without your support, this would not have been possible.- silverschells.com


Tuesday, October 1, 2013

I will contine sharing my story!

Some people don't like that I have shared my childhood abuse. Someone shared their story and it helped me and others. I am sharing my story so, it can help others also. I love Jesus and he has been good to me and has blessed me greatly with the life I have now! To the ones that don't like me sharing my story, all I can say is: " Frankly my dear, I don't give a damn".

Friday, September 20, 2013

The Walking Dead

So, here is the finished pendant for the TV Show,The Walking Dead! This picture doesn't show the leather cord. But, when I add it to my website, I will have more pictures! I made it using polymer clay, paint, shell casing and glass dragons eye! Thanks to Black Diamond!

Tuesday, September 17, 2013

People may not approve of you.

People may not approve of you. Don't worry about it. God approves of you. People don't determine your destiny. People can't stop God's plan for your life. God called you. God equipped you. God anointed you. - Joel Osteen Ministries
My birth mother who should have empowered my life with dreams of success but instead tried all she could to destroy what was good, then she recruited her other daughter to do her  dirting work for her, then she pretends she don't know what is going on, poor mommy dearest always the victim But, guess what I am still here. You no longer have any power over me, you no longer will haunt my days and nights, you will no longer be able to hurt me anymore than you have already done. I am not protecting you, I am instead exposing you for who you are. Sharing my truth and the journey to take back control of my life. You have condemned me, condemned my children, abandoned us and shunned us. 
1.Everything she does is deniable. There is always a facile excuse or an explanation. Cruelties are couched in loving terms. Aggressive and hostile acts are paraded as thoughtfulness. Selfish manipulations are presented as gifts. Criticism and slander is slyly disguised as concern. She only wants what is best for you. She only wants to help you.

2.She favoritizes. Narcissistic mothers commonly choose one (sometimes more) child to be the golden child and one (sometimes more) to be the scapegoat. The narcissist identifies with the golden child and provides privileges to him or her as long as the golden child does just as she wants. The golden child has to be cared for assiduously by everyone in the family. The scapegoat has no needs and instead gets to do the caring. The golden child can do nothing wrong. The scapegoat is always at fault. This creates divisions between the children, one of whom has a large investment in the mother being wise and wonderful, and the other(s) who hate her. That division will be fostered by the narcissist with lies and with blatantly unfair and favoritizing behavior. The golden child will defend the mother and indirectly perpetuate the abuse by finding reasons to blame the scapegoat for the mother’s actions. The golden child may also directly take on the narcissistic mother’s tasks by physically abusing the scapegoat so the narcissistic mother doesn’t have to do that herself. 
3.She undermines.  Your accomplishments are acknowledged only to the extent that she can take credit for them.
4.  She’s a liar in too many ways to count. Any time she talks about something that has emotional significance for her, it’s a fair bet that she’s lying. Lying is one way that she creates conflict in the relationships and lives of those around her - she’ll lie to them about what other people have said, what they’ve done, or how they feel. She’ll lie about her relationship with them, about your behavior or about your situation in order to inflate herself and to undermine your credibility.

5.She projects. This sounds a little like psycho-babble, but it is something that narcissists all do. Projection means that she will put her own bad behavior, character and traits on you so she can deny them in herself and punish you. 

6.She blames. She’ll blame you for everything that isn’t right in her life or for what other people do or for whatever has happened. Always, she’ll blame you for her abuse. You made her do it. If only you weren’t so difficult. You upset her so much that she can’t think straight. Things were hard for her and your backtalk pushed her over the brink.  

7.  She destroys your relationships. Narcissistic mothers are like tornadoes: wherever they touch down families are torn apart and wounds are inflicted. Unless the father has control over the narcissist and holds the family together, adult siblings in families with narcissistic mothers characteristically have painful relationships. Typically all communication between siblings is superficial and driven by duty, or they may never talk to each other at all. In part, these women foster dissension between their children because they enjoy the control it gives them. If those children don’t communicate except through the mother, she can decide what everyone hears. Narcissists also love the excitement and drama they create by interfering in their children’s lives. Watching people’s lives explode is better than soap operas, especially when you don’t have any empathy for their misery.

The end result is a family in which almost all communication is triangular. The narcissist, the spider in the middle of the family web, sensitively monitors all the children for information she can use to retain her unchallenged control over the family. She then passes that on to the others, creating the resentments that prevent them from communicating directly and freely with each other. The result is that the only communication between the children is through the narcissist, exactly the way she wants it.

8. As a last resort she goes pathetic. When she’s confronted with unavoidable consequences for her own bad behavior, including your anger, she will melt into a soggy puddle of weepy helplessness. It’s all her fault. She can’t do anything right. She feels so bad. What she doesn’t do: own the responsibility for her bad conduct and make it right. Instead, as always, it’s all about her, and her helpless self-pitying weepiness dumps the responsibility for her consequences AND for her unhappiness about it on you. As so often with narcissists, it is also a manipulative behavior. If you fail to excuse her bad behavior and make her feel better, YOU are the bad person for being cold, heartless and unfeeling when your poor mother feels so awful. hapyschild

Sunday, September 15, 2013

“Everyone” says that the problem is me. How can they all be wrong?

People have their own reasons for insisting that it is ‘you.’ Most often, the biggest reason is about them not wanting to see the truth in their own lives with their own dysfunctional relationships. It is easier to keep the victim down than it is to look at the truth, especially if that truth affects them too. Being raised to believe ‘the problem is you’ is a very difficult belief system to undo and replace. Victims of dysfunctional relationship very
often become addicted to proof: if they can’t prove they are ‘right’ about their own grievances, then they must not be right. But even the belief that we have to ‘prove it’ comes from dysfunction in the belief system and has its roots somewhere.
As for abusers, they will never look at the possibility that it might be them. Abusive and controlling people never question themselves. They are very sure that it isn’t them. Emerging From Broken

No longer worry if the truth hurts someone elses feelings.

"I no longer worry if the truth hurts someone elses feelings. When I decided to heal and move forward with my life, I had to stop taking care of other people’s feelings and finally validate my feelings. When I finally put my own healing first, I began to see the dysfunction more clearly. The people I was trying not to "hurt" were the ones that hurt me. I finally saw that I was contributing to the sick dysfunctional cycle by going along with it.” Darlene Ouimet   Emerging From Broken

Tuesday, September 10, 2013

Thursday, August 29, 2013

GIVEAWAY! Eye Catching White Druzy Pendant with Swarovski crystals! Value $124.95

This Giveaway starts September 3 2013 on my facebook page! https://www.facebook.com/SilverSchells

This piece I will be submitting to be considered for one of Bethenny's, new talk show segments, that premieres September 9th. Plus, Golden Globes 2014 (Four Seasons Hotel Gifting) A-list celebrity,Nominees, Presenters and more. To see more pictures of necklace and item description go to: http://silverschells.com/

Tuesday, August 27, 2013

Part 1 The abuse endured in my childhood

I am not a writer so, I am writing my story the best I can.

I am writing this story in 3 parts. Part 1 is about my childhood, where this all stemmed from, Part 2 my abusive marriage to my now ex and finally Part 3 how I over came and living the life I was always meant to have and hopefully inspire other women that have been through it or are still going through it. My heart goes out to each and everyone of you!

When I decide to share my story on domestic abuse and what I went through, I did not realize how hard it would be to write my story. I started thinking about why? How did I allow or why did this happen to me? Where did this all stem from? I had thought that I had let go of the past and I had for the most part.

Then I began to think of my childhood, which caused me to loose sleep and become physically sick over the past month. The things that had happened in my childhood have shaped and molded me into the person that I am today. I was so full of shame, guilt, fear, and mistrust. As a young girl of only 4 years old, I was sexually abused repeatedly by the landlord. It seemed as if he knew when my mother would fall asleep during the day as she worked nights. He would come in through the back door, grab me by the arm and take me out back into a dumpy little trailer house. During the nights that my mother worked, my alcoholic father would bring friends from the bar home. Eventually he would pass out, and one of his friends would come into my room. It ended up that I was not able to even sleep at night, as I just waited for my father to come home with his friends, so I knew when I had to hide in the closet so I would not be found by this friend of my fathers. He would search the house looking for me, and become angry because he could not find me.

I was so full of fear as a child. This fear stuck with me throughout adulthood. In addition to this fear, I also always had a feeling of shame and guilt. Then I realized where these problems stemmed from; having been molested as a child. I no longer live with that shame and guilt, as I finally came to realize that I did not do anything wrong. However, I still struggle with trying to understand why my mother, after she found out that I was molested, why she  said to me, “how could you do this to me.” I remember when I was 14 years old, having been brutally raped by a neighbor. When I finally got away, I ran home as fast as I could, so I could tell my mother. But what she told me when I was just 4 years old stuck with me, “how could you do this to me.” It made me stop dead in my tracks, and I never spoke of it.

My father was a very violent man towards me. I grew up being terrified of him. I never knew what would set him of. He took a lot his angry out on me, and he would always try to pick fights with me. Some of the fights he would pick with me where just really stupid. He would tell me that I was stupid. If I disagreed with him, he would beat me for smarting off to him. If I said nothing, he would beat me for not answering him.

The beatings were so horrible. He would beat me until I would start blacking out. When I would fall to the ground, he would then kick me over and over with his cowboy boots. After the beatings, he would often call my mother at work and lie about why he had beaten me. Then when my mother came home, she would tell me that I needed to learn to just keep my mouth shut. She did not protect me as she should have. Even when she was home, and my father was beating me, she just let it go.

My mother was not any better. When I was 19, I had asked my mother, why do you lie about me to dad, you know what he does to me. She said it was because I could handle it better then she could. But, the thing is he never abused her physically. By the time I was 14, the beatings had become a daily ritual. I could not focus on anything else anymore besides just getting that beating over with. Once he beat me he, would leave me alone the rest of the night. I was a good kid growing up. I always did as I was told and my parents never had to worry about me. I know now I was merely the scapegoat. Instead of dealing with their problems, their full attention was on me. My father even blamed me for his drinking.

By that time, I was becoming very angry with them both. I knew I would never be able to count on them to protect me. I had to rely on myself. At 14 I ran away, and for awhile I got to feel like a normal person. But then I got picked up by the police. I had to see a judge and he said I had to go back home. I just starting crying because I could not believe they would send me back home. However, I never talked about what was going on at home. I never told anybody what went on in my family. I was just to ashamed and embarrassed.

My parents, mother being the worse, constantly would tell lies about me to family as well as friends. There were so many lies, and then my father was always more than happy to share with me what everybody thought of me. Even after all of the things I was put through, my father would still come to me and confide in me as to what a rotten mother and wife my mother was. At the same time, my mother would do the same thing towards my father, saying what a rotten father and husband he was. I do have to say, that was the only time we ever agreed on anything.

I could never understand how one moment, I would be being beaten and lied about, and then the next, being confided in. I felt as if they where both trying to make me pick a side. My mother would tell me over and over again that my father did not care about me, while my father said the same thing about my mother. I heard these words for years. It is very hard to hear that your parents do not care about you. It is even harder to hear that over and over again. I ended up feeling as if I was nothing more than a punching bag for everything. The way in which I was treated made me feel as if I was no longer human.

They both continued to tell both family and friends what an awful daughter I was. Why? Because I would run away from home in order to get away from the beatings. Because I tried to protect myself from anymore beatings. Because I had a “big mouth,” as I dared to tell my father that I was not stupid, or that he was ruining the family by drinking so much or telling my mother to stop making up lies about me.

The abuse never stopped. Even on my birthday and Christmas, it continued. If my parents happened to get me anything after the age of 14, it would always be just something they could use to laugh at me and remind me that I did not deserve anything. That stuck with me. Up into adulthood, I believed those words; that I was not deserving. Thus, when something good did come into my life, I would sabotage it. I grew up with the understanding that I did not deserve to be happy because of the rotten things that I had done. Being happy was strange, and only made me feel uncomfortable.

We ended up moving from the town that I grew up as my parents thought that by removing me from my friends, our problems would be solved. For a short time I even believed that they just might be right. My parents thought that it would solve me being a rotten child, while I believed that it would solve them being rotten parents.

Shortly before me moved, my parents had me go ahead of them and stay with relatives. I loved being there with my uncle, aunt and cousins. For the first time, in a very long time, I felt safe. I learned a lot from my aunt when I was staying there. She was a great mother, and I knew she was the type of person that I wanted to be someday; kind and loving. By the time I actually began thinking I could become comfortable there, my mother called.

I had told mother several times that I did not want to come back, but finally, she quilted me into it. She told me that she needed me back as she needed help packing as well as someone to take care of my little sister and told me, you know how your father is. He was exactly the reason I did not want to come back. Without me there, my father began focusing all of his hatred and anger onto her, and she could not handle it. She needed me to come back so he would have someone else to focus on. When I finally arrived home, it was as if I had never left. The beatings and ridicule started right where they left off and my mother screaming and yelling at me because she could not handle the stress of moving and it was my fault we had to move. I hated my mother for quilting me back home, especially since she knew what that would mean for me.

We ended up moving to a little oil boom town, that was full of gossip and drunks. This is where one of my worst nightmares would begin. The drinking in my family intensified. My mother was drinking all of the time as were my two brothers. If my sister had not been six years old, she probably would have joined them as well. Yet, the only focus was on my drinking. The worst our family life would become, the more out of control everything was, the more focus that would be placed on me.

The beatings intensified, as did the lies my parents told about me. My father would even come down to where I worked as a cashier, and tell customers that I was waiting on, as well as people that I had known from school, out right lies about me and many of the lies came from my mother. It was very humiliating, but my dad seemed to take great pleasure by getting others to laugh at his daughter, and say nasty things about her. All the while, my father would just have a big old grin on his face. Some of his coworkers would even come in when I was working and say the worst things to me.

At the age of 16 I became pregnant. It took my mother 4 months to figure it out. My father would not know until I was 7 months pregnant, and that was only because my mother told him after he and told her that she needed to talk to me as I was becoming fat and would never come out of my room. The reason I always hid away in my room though was because I was able to lodge a piece of lumber between my door and dresser, so that my father could not harm my unborn son by kicking me in the stomach. Being pregnant was some what of a relief though, as no longer did I suffer from any beatings, and my parents avoided me.

I was 17 when my son was born. For a short time afterwards, my father continued to leave me alone. He actually was nice, and everything at home just seemed peaceful. But it was only the calm before the storm. One night he came home drunk, and I could see the rage in his eyes. I knew it was not going to be good and it was over a lie my mother told my Father.When he came in, I was sitting in the rocking chair, putting my son to sleep. I told him that I needed to put my son to bed, which was my way of saying, please do not beat me until my son is safe in his bed. While I was laying my son down, my father just stood in the doorway, waiting for me to come out. When I did, I just told him, let's get this over with.

Once I got to the door, he took my head and bashed it against the door, which knocked me out. When I came too, all I felt was the pain of him picking me off the floor by my hair. I desperately wanted to scream, but I did not want my son to wake up. When he noticed that I was nearly beginning to cry, he looked at me, and with a big grin on his face, asked, “are you going to cry you big baby.” Then he just walked away and went to the bathroom, which gave me enough time to run to the phone and call my mother at work. I told her that she needed to come home and I tried to explain really fast what had happened. What I needed was someone to protect me. Instead my mother famous words, asked why I was doing this to her. Hanging up, I knew I should have known better, because that is what she would tell me whenever I needed her. 

Almost every time my father got drunk, he would pick a fight with mother and she would divert the attention and make up about anything to get him to stop taking it out on her and put the focus on me.

That night, something changed in me. There was this overflowing amount of hate and anger, as well as a numbness. I wanted so badly to just pickup my son and runaway, but I knew that if I did, my parents would come looking for me and the wrath of my father would be even worse then it already had been. Instead, I decided that I needed to kill him.

I was convinced that once he was dead, the rest of us could finally be a happy family. At first, I would think about how I could poison his food, as I was the one that usually had to make supper. But I could not figure out how to just poison him, without harming the rest of the family.

Then one night, after coming home from work, I saw my dad sitting in the living room by himself. He must have been sleeping, as he did not try to harm me. All of a sudden, a surge of rage rose up in me and I knew how I was going to kill him. I went into my parents room, into the closest, and grabbed the gun from the top shelf. Taking it out of the case, I checked the gun and discovered that there were no bullets. I searched through the closet, but I could not find a single bullet. It is a little hard to believe today, but I know that if I had found one, I would have killed my father that night.

The next day, I went to my brother and asked if he could buy me some bullets. He told me that there was no way that I was going to kill dad. That shocked me out of my rage. It made me think that if I did kill my father, I would not be able to see my son again.

By the time I was 18, I was a full fledged alcoholic. I knew my parents were telling everyone that I was into all sorts of drugs, but I was not. My choice of drug was pot. I really liked the way I felt when I drank and smoked pot. It gave me a sense of total freedom. It helped me forget all of the problems at home. I knew that was not an actual solution to my problems, but for a few hours, I was able to forget them.

When my son got a little older, my father started teaching him to call me names. I would beg my father to stop doing that. It just hurt so deeply. I did not know how much more I could actually take. There was no one that I could talk to; there was no safe place to go. I just did not know what to do. I had lost all hope. But it continued to get worse. My eldest brother started to become very angry as well, blaming me for all of the problems in the home. He took a hammer and hit me with it. I felt like I just lost it. I do not know why, but I went to my mother and told her what my brother had done. I told her first dad, and now my own brother. My mother just asked what did I do to piss him off. It was then that my mother said something that brought back a flood of repressed memories. She asked me if I thought I was the way I was because of what happened to me as a little girl.

All I could do was cry. My family could not handle any emotions, so my mother turned around and put her face back in to her book keeping work. All the way home I just cried. I was in such deep pain, and those memories just continued to keep flooding back. The landlord did not just molest me, he would torture me. After he was done molesting me, he would take me to his shop and stick tools into my private parts. He did this as a reminder not to tell anyone. I would just scream in pain and the pain would become so unbearable that I would pass out. When I woke up, he would not be there. Sometimes, he would even stick me in this dirt cellar, which was infested with mice. It felt as if he kept me in there for hours upon hours. It was truly terrifying. There would also be times he would hold a gun to my head, telling me that if I told anyone, he would kill me and my family; then he would stick the gun into my private areas.

After reliving these memories, that night I tried to end my life. It was too painful to be alive anymore. There was no way in which I was going to be able to handle my brother also being abusive to me. It was not the first time I tried to end my life. The first time I did was at four. I was only four years old the first time I tried to end my life. Having been molested during the day by the landlord, and then again at night by my father's friend, it was more than I could bear.

The manner in which I came up with the idea to end my life at four was from the soap operas that my mother would watch. I remember watching the lady going into her bedroom crying and saying that she could not take it anymore. She grabbed a bottle of pills and took them all. Later, the husband came into the room and found her dead. Later in the show, I remember seeing the father trying to comfort his child, telling the child that their mother was in heaven, and that she was happy now. That is what I wanted, to go to heaven and be happy. I had went into the medicine cabinet and grabbed the children's aspirin. Then I went into the hall closet and started eating them, telling God that I could not wait to go to heaven so that I could be happy. But that did not happen. Instead, I got really sick, and screamed out for my mother, who grabbed me as I proceeded to throw up.

I tried again to commit suicide at the age of 14. I bought two bottles of Tylenol, and began to swallow them. After consuming the first bottle, and half of the second one, I became very tired and went to lay down. I was totally at peace because I knew that I was going to heaven and was going to finally be happy. Instead, I woke up sick. The next couple of days I spent in the bathroom being sick.

That did not stop me though. I continued to learn more from TV shows and movies. It was a good thing that we did not have the internet back then, otherwise I might have succeeded. It was from a movie though that gave me the idea to slit my wrists. However, the movie portrayed slicing one's wrists in the wrong manner. I did bleed some, but that was it. It was just one more thing I could not do right, which made me all that much more angry at myself. I couldn't even look in the mirror at myself without disgust, it made me sick to even see myself.

Everything in my life was about to change though. My brother had began working where I was working as well. He would do the night shift, but one night, he came in drunk. It was a busy night, with a lot of customers, but he had noticed that I was wearing his shirt. This set him off, and he began beating me up, and trying to take the shirt off of me. He was pushing me into the store displays, and we had things flying everywhere. I tried desperately to get behind the counter, so I could push the alarm. Even with all of the people in the store though, not a single person would help me. When I finally did get behind the counter, my brother got me onto the ground, he tried to tear the shirt off of me, and continued to beat me. I was eventually able to push the alarm, but one of his friends noticed and quickly got my brother out of there.

Once the officers finally got there, I told him what happened and that I wanted to press charges. However, being a small town, the officer knew my family. He told me to just calm down and laughed. He told me that it was my brother, and that he just needed to sleep it off. After all, he probably would not even remember what he did in the morning. But what about me; I was not going to forget what happened.

After the police officer left, I called up to the house because I knew that is where my brother's friend took him. The line was busy though, as my brother had taken the phone off of the hook. So I chased everyone out of the store and locked it up. I had had it. Going to the house, I stormed in. Everyone was in bed, but I yelled at my mother, and told her that I locked up the store. I told both my father and mother what had happened. The only thing they cared about though was that I locked up the store. I did work for my mother.

They demanded that I get back down there and open the store up. But I refused, and it was my brother who was supposed to be working and I was tired of covering for him. He did this to me much to often when he knew that I would be working. They asked me where he was, and I told them that he was passed out in his bedroom. After telling my parents where my brother was, I threw the keys to the store on the table and left.

The next day when I came home, I knew that my dad was going to beat me for what I had done. Before the beating though, he called me a lot of dirty names. This time though, without thinking, I screamed, “fuck you” to my father. As soon as those words passed from my lips, I knew I had to run. As I was trying to get out the door, he yelled at me, saying, “I'm going to kill you.” I was terrified, as I had no doubt that he would have. However, I just could not get to the door fast enough. Instead, I turned around, and told my father, with great conviction, that if he laid a hand on me, I would call the cops and have him arrested. He just laughed, so I said it again. IF he laid a hand on me, I would have him arrested. I meant what I said, but more importantly, he knew that I meant it.

It felt amazing to stand up for myself like that. Then all of a sudden, something just clicked: I was 19, and no longer had to live at home. My parents could not do a thing to stop me from leaving. There was a problem though, as I knew they would ever allow me to take my son, and if I would try, they definitely would have fought it. I needed to get out of that house. After I was out, I knew I would figure out a plan to get my son back again.

Part 2 My abusive marriage to my now ex, coming soon... 

"Faith is that strength, that secret weapon of the soul, which allows us to persevere even when facts seem damning and the truth unbearable."

Thursday, August 22, 2013

Golden Globes 2014

Pretty Excited!! I will be making jewelry pieces for the Golden Globes 2014 (Four Seasons Hotel Gifting) A-list celebrity,Nominees, Presenters and more. This is bigger then what I have done in the past. Past recipients include Oprah Winfrey, Glenn Close, Susan Sarandon, Sandra Bullock, Jennifer Hudson, Morgan Freeman, Jeff Bridges, Anne Hathaway, Ricky Gervais, Halle Berry, James Cameron, Natalie Portman, Mila Kunis, and more. Production starts now!!:)

Saturday, August 17, 2013

You are Not Alone

When I decided, I was going to share my story on Domestic Violence, I didn't realize the journey it would take me on, it hasn't been easy breaking the silence that I have/had endured from my birth family, mainly from my birth mother, birth sister and ex-husband.

The one thing that they don't realize the power of lying and abuse against the person, not only affects the person they are trying to hurt. It affects the children of the one they are trying to hurt.

Also, at the very bottom of this post. I share my Mother's Narcissist Rule Of Engagement.

My ex-husband was/is a Narcissist, no wonder I married him!
Ex- Husbands Narcissist Rule Of Engagement. 1,2,4,5,6,7,8,9,10,11,12,12,14,18,19,20,21,22,23,24,25,26,

I am not finished writing my story. But, the information below has helped me on that journey and gain my power back and I will never allow anyone to take that away, ever again.

35 Narcissist Rule Of Engagement came from this book on amazon.
You can find it here! Take a look inside! Amazing Book!

 If you have ever experienced Adult Child Abuse by a parent, sibling, or other relative, we welcome you and pray that you will find our website helpful. http://www.luke173ministries.org/

You are not alone. 
There are thousands of us just like you, with birth-families just like yours.

You will never be alone. 

'When my father and mother forsake me, then the Lord will take me up'.....Psalm 27:10KJV.

 'Can a mother forget the baby at her breast and have no compassion on the child she has borne?  Though she may forget, I will not forget you!  See, I have engraved you on the palms of my hands'......Isaiah 49: 15-16NIV.

Friday, August 2, 2013

Empowerment Infinity Bracelets

Empowerment Infinity Bracelets I am having a special deal Empowerment Infinity Bracelet $19.98 All proceeds will be going to help Domestic Violence women's shelter. With the oil boom here in Williston, lacking of housing, women are staying in their violent relationships because there’s nowhere for them to go. Many of these women are from out -of-state. In most cases, the abuse started before they moved to North Dakota. Services/Coalition Against Sexual Assault in North Dakota, said agencies are getting more requests to help victims return to their home state, but there are limited funds for that. They often just want money for a bus ticket, money for a plane ticket, gas money to go back home. I want to help these women get back home and hopefully get them away from their abuser.  SilverSchells.com

Before and After Amethyst geode slice

One of my favorite pieces! You will see a lot more of these in the future! Amethyst geode slice, surrounded with swarvoski crystal!

Tuesday, June 18, 2013

Janina Gavankar Luna True Blood

On the left Janina Gavankar "True Blood" Season 6 Premiere Red Carpet #truebloodseason6 and on the right Janina Gavankar, she plays Luna on True Blood. She is wearing my India inspired bracelet at the GBK Primetime Emmys Award Gift Lounge.

Jessy Schram Karen Nader Falling Skies

Jessy Schram who plays Karen Nader on #FallingSkies wearing my cuff bracelets at th #GBK 2012 MTV Moive Awards Gift Lounge!
Falling Skies: Season 2, as we find out more about what happened to her character, Karen, after she became harnessed by the alien “Skitters” in Season 1

Tuesday, March 19, 2013

Renee Zellwegar

I made this ring for Renee Zellwegar and she sent a handwritten Thank You note! That was sure was nice of her!http://silverschells.com